Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
