Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
