I haven't been this sober since birth.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
