I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
