i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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