After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
