Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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