It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
