So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
