You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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