took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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