he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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