i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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