Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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