you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
