We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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