I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize