Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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