so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Verdict: uncircumcised.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
