I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize