we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No...this little piggys going to the bar
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize