Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
