idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
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Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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