she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
