between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
