you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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