If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
