bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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