I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
