clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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