I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
