MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
