this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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