You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
