I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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