in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize