so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
