Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize