She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
