tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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