I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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