so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
