at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
