I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you traded sex for a burrito?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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