i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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