awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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