I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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