super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
my poor anus
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
