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sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
