you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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