Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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