He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Never joke about your clitoris.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
