It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize