I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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