textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
