____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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