Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
