They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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