how hairy? two words: wookie tits
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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