dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
