i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
