I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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