do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
party gras won. party gras always wins.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
