No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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