I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We have so much sex to catch up on
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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