Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
