it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
