I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
