how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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