I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
