I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
