Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
